Well what can we say about Labour in its current incarnation? Have you ever seen the likes?
Most folk in political parties have this thing called ambition and the pinnacle of that ambition is to lead the party they feel the closest affinityyou can only wonder why the Northern Office of the Labour Party, otherwise known as Scottish Labour, are having such difficulty finding a new head honcho at the top table — one that will potentially become the media darling of the clique that is the Labour-party-influenced Scottish media.
In normal circumstances (or in any other nation in the world) people would be lining up to announce themselves a candidate to become the next leader. But not in Scotland. And certainly not in Scottish Labour, whose bright young (and old) things are lining up to say, “Not me, I don’t want the job.”
How bad must things be inside the Red Tory Northern Division if none of the chosen ones of Blue Labour want the job? They would no doubt rather resign and become a branch manager at the nearest ASDA before they’d pick up the purple (formerly Red) flag and run with it.
Things are so bad inside the Blue Labour Northern Division they’re going to export the charisma-void-and-milk-crate-botherer Jim Murphy up to Holyrood, in hopes he will lead them out the wilderness like a modern-day Moses.
One might say Murphy is the “Moses of the red roses“ without the burning bush and tablets bit. To be honest, I think the only thing Jim “the messiah” Murphy could part would be his hair, and even then I’d want evidence.
To be fair, at least Murphy is taking his new potential role of Messiah and Saviour of Scottish Labour seriously. He’s apparently having his 40 days in the wilderness inhe’s not answering his phone and no one has seen him, so that could be the only answer, couldn’t it?
Then we have Mr. Eh-eh-eh-urrm Neil-Fifi-Findlay as second contender and the last lefty on the shelf — Labours my-dad-voted-Labour choice in the Quest for the Full of Holey Grail, or what’s commonly known as the proverbial poison chalice. A man who happens to be the shadow Health Minister and unlike Jim “the messiah” Murphy didn’t have a one-man-and-a-juice-crate roadshow where he went and talked down to a town near you. Aye, give Neil his due. He didn’t say to a member of the electorate that her backside was bigger than her argument and he didn’t get all “poor me its an outrage” over some miscreant lobbing poultry at him.
That doesn’t make Neil any less complicit in the Better Together “scare-old-people-and-make-stuff up” campaign, or, what’s more commonly known as “Project Fear” by those in the know. That’s what makes Mr Findlay’s campaign pitch of social justice all the more galling when his party could have stuck to its core values and supported a Yes vote, as Mr. Keir Hardie aspired to when he formed the Labour party.
Sadly, the party decided to form an alliance with the Conservatives and conspired to deceive and scare the people of Scotland about the “Boogeyman of Independence.”
Then we have the final contender, and the one I can honestly say I was shocked, stunned and a little bit amazed to hear announced. Sarah Boyack, who funnily enough is an unelected list MSP, isn’t known as one of the leading lights of the Labour party — which says it all about the ferret-in-a -thunderstorm strategy of New Blue Labour.
I can only assume at the meeting held at Scottish Labour HQ there were several rounds of pass-the-parcel, followed by deciding rounds of musical chairs to wheedle out the last candidate for the job as the new illustrious leader of the groovy gang. Either that or they had one of those step-forward-who-wants-it moments where everyone but Sarah Boyack stepped back.
Who would have thought losing would be so much fun?